Raquel Vaughn-
I am the most excellent talker you will ever meet. I don’t just mean “making conversation”, I’m talking about yapping. When you can talk, talk, and talk – and still see no end in sight. As soon as I learned what a filibuster was in Eighth Grade U.S. Government class, it’s been my dream to attempt and succeed in doing one. I talk so much that someone might assume that I am even training to one day perform a filibuster. I’ve had people tell me that when I am telling a story, they stop listening halfway. I’ve had friends wait days to hear gossip come specifically from me because I apparently “tell it better.” I make talking look like a profession. If yapping were basketball, I’d be LeBron James. My roommate once told me to my face that I am incapable of silence and thank God her love language is listening because if she were anyone else right now, then I’d probably already be six feet under.
Although I very much so was born a yapper, I had to be taught the direct ways of yapping. My parents were role models for me. Growing up, we were always the last ones to leave the church after Sunday service because, according to my dad, it was “good to fellowship with the community”. Not a single soul could leave the building before going through my parents, which sometimes meant they were trusted with locking up once they yapped everyone away. I also grew up roaming grocery aisles while my mom gossiped with a familiar face she spotted in the store. This is how I learned to make small talk. Or perhaps my mom’s endless conversations in grocery stores is why I can’t spend longer than an hour in Walmart before the restlessness kicks in. Of course, that’s if I don’t find a familiar face in the store before I pay and leave.
I’ve always wanted to be one of those mysterious, quiet kids. Everyone likes the quiet ones because they don’t shout out every thought that’s ever crossed their mind. The number of mornings in Sixth Grade that I’ve woken up deciding to be mysterious is almost as high as the number of hours I’ve spent ranting in my life. Why is it so hard? Mysterious kids, how do you do it? Why do you not want people to know your family drama? It’s more fun when you go to school with silly little updates. Why don’t you want people to know the story of how you nearly died in a car accident and then loudly laugh it off? Stories about near-death experiences add character! The world wants to know what’s going on in your head, so tell us! Why be quiet when you can be quirky? Channel your inner Jessica Day from New Girl and blurt out whatever comes to mind.
Yap, so much so that you’re not just telling a story, but you become the story. My dad wants me to be a lawyer, but I think that’s because he knows they all like to hear themselves talk. Not saying I don’t like to listen to myself talk, because I do. My mom thinks I would be a good teacher. As a daycare teacher, you’d think a yapper would be excited to repeat the same exact phrase a hundred times a day. And while all those options sound amazing, I want my yapping to be something more permanently kept. Writing is where I can do that. Everything that I have ever wanted to talk about (and do talk about regularly) is something I can easily write.
I used to feel embarrassed about how much I talked. I tried cutting my stories down into bite-sized pieces. I could feel the exhaustion of those who would converse with me. There are cons to being a yapper, that’s for sure. Some might find you annoying, exhausting, or “too much.” In reference to Hozier’s song, no one’s ever called me “too sweet,” but I have been told to shut up before. But when you think about it, your ability to yap comes from a beautiful place. It comes from excitement—I could listen to my friend talk about football for hours. It comes from the desire to connect. I have made connections with so many people by just being loud and obnoxious. There have been times that I’ve had full-blown conversations with strangers only to realize thirty minutes in that I never introduced myself. Yapping can be special if you allow it to be. Yapping can be a part of what being a girl’s girl is like.
When I pushed aside the embarrassment of being a relentless talker, I realized that so much good could come from it. There was no point in being ashamed of being voted “Most Likely To Become A Motivational Speaker” during my senior year of high school. And I have no business being embarrassed for being good at tabling. Being a yapper is ingrained in me. Sure, I may get made fun of for running into somebody I know every time I go to Mankato, but that doesn’t make the connections I’ve made any less meaningful.
Don’t be silenced. Let your yap shine. Changing for people is overrated. The correct response to your yap session is always “I’m listening” and never “Are you done?”