Clare Greeman – Robert Pattinson Hater/Expert
Despite not being that big of a Batman fan, I know far too much than I wish to about the character, its adaptation history, and the new 2022 Batman movie starring Robert Pattinson, making me qualified to air my grievances. My problem lies threefold: in the casting of Robert Pattinson, the projected plot, and how this film fits into the larger problems of Hollywood.
Just like Batman, I know far too much about Robert Pattinson given that I despise him. I remember, for one, hearing his protestations to work out for the role and scoffing at it. I’m all for breaking down Hollywood’s beauty standards, where refusing to build up bulk to fit into a certain archetype might be sparking an important conversation, but I found the whole thing to be very hollow. He was not taking a stand when he refused to work out for the role; not only is this a double standard as Pattinson watched his 16 year old costar Taylor Lautner gain 30 pounds of muscle in between the 3 months it took Twilight to wrap and New Moon to begin shooting, but he also stood by as his then-girlfriend Kristen Stewart lose extensive amounts of weight for the end of Breaking Dawn pt. 1. Gaining muscle shows dedication to the role, and trying to portray a completely human vigilante that relies on his own fighting prowess is almost impossible as a man who cooks pasta in the microwave and eats it with copious amounts of sugar (if you doubt me, look it up) and could take someone out of the film.
Pattinson has traditionally played, and has always wanted, to play indie roles; his breakout role as Edward should’ve been just that, a role in a small production that would be seen by few. His harsh thrust into the spotlight via Twilight would be torture for anyone but especially someone who abhorred it in the first place. And indeed, after the Twilight Saga, he retreated into venerable indie productions like Good Time and The Childhood of a Leader, productions where he was highly praised for his performance.
I can only imagine that just like his other mainstream roles, like 4/5ths of the Twilight films, his performance will be lackluster. I’m just hoping that he worked with a vocal coach when it came to replicating Batman’s gravely voice rather than winging it with his parody-like and over-the-top performances in The King and the Devil All the Time. If he does decide to turn it on for this role, what will he be turning on exactly?
The unfeeling Dark Knight doesn’t have a lot to show in the way of emotions other than angry, brooding, and dead inside. And how will it compare to the rest of the star studded cast?
I was particularly excited for the casting of Zoë Kravitz as Catwoman and Paul Dano as the Riddler respectively. In addition to these, Colin Farrell, Jefferey Wright, John Turturro, and Andy Serkis are all slated to play large roles in the film. Perplexingly, four of the six actors I just mentioned are playing villains in the Batman canon which leads into my next problem: too many cooks in the kitchen. How will the film manage to handle the story lines of a potential four villains? I am exceedingly skeptical about the villainy that the Riddler is slated to bring as the “main villain” of the movie, when he hasn’t been a “main villain” in recently comic book memory, or how Colin Farrell, as the Penguin, will manage to act under that fat chin strap.
And finally, I hope that set-up sounded familiar to you, because it sounded familiar to me. How many recent movies can you think of that feature many villains? How many recent superhero movies can you think of? I can. In fact I first saw the new Batman trailer while I was in the theater to see that very same movie. Spiderman: No Way Home follows in the tradition of past Spiderman movies where they have featured many villains, top loading the movie with an incredible amount of action and many moving parts that if done wrong, could gloss over necessary character development and leave the audience feeling fatigued.
The many villains have been done, many times over. The characters have been done before, and the remakes complaint has been heard time and time before but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bear repeating. I can only imagine that they pitched this movie as a new, darker Batman, and everyone being pitched to had short-term memory loss.
I’m not trying to yuck anyones yum, instead I hope that you enjoy the new Batman movie in my stead. I only ask that when you watch this movie, you think about what the filmmakers were trying to accomplish. Are you seeing anything new? Did they add anything to the Batman canon that was missing, besides Paul Dano?
Do you see any value in it as the third Batman live action launch of the 2000’s? Or could you just as sooner have watched the Nolan trilogy, or any other superhero movie to date and have found something just as good, if not better?